


New day

by Alireza



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Miscarriage, Sherlolly - Freeform, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 13:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13342320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alireza/pseuds/Alireza
Summary: When Molly accidentally gets pregnant, Sherlock is shocked. When she miscarries, he is clueless about how to deal with it.





	New day

Days passed, then weeks and the pain didn't lessen a bit. Was it a grief, Sherlock wondered, or was it just a disappointment. There was supposed to be a baby and it was gone. His flat was still full of so many things that reminded him of it- two boxes of Rosie's baby clothes, an early gift from John, a cuddly toy from Janine and a pair of yellow socks, knitted by his mother. The last one was supposed to be a gift for Molly. Sherlock hoped it'd make up for his initial reaction to the news of Molly's pregnancy.

It would be easier to deal with it on his own, gradually get rid of all the painful reminders of the tragedy, stop thinking about the loss, move on. But he wasn't alone, Molly was equally devastated, if not more. Sherlock claimed to be a genius but that was beyond him. He had no idea how to treat Molly, what to say. They had nothing to bury, they never chose a name. Sherlock wasn't sure if he thought about it as a baby, their child, or was it just a foetus. An unborn person or a soulless thing. Did that even matter? It was gone. But what if Molly considered it a baby? Maybe she expected some sort of symbolic burial, a proper mourning. Was it wrong not to talk about it? He thought it would be far worse to admit that they lost a baby, a real baby whose heart beat for some time and then stopped.

 

They weren't a couple, not officially. When Molly showed him a positive pregnancy test, he was stunned. Speechless. He was staring at the test and couldn't find appropriate words. Molly was not too overly thrilled either. That wasn't the best moment. She said she didn't want to pressure him into anything. They didn't move in together or got engaged. Sherlock just started thinking about asking Molly to consider moving into 221 b, not necessarily into his bedroom. She could live in John's old room. It ended on the day of the first ultrasound. There was no flickering on the monitor. No heartbeat.

Molly was quiet. She returned to work. She didn't sob in public. Sherlock had no idea what to do. He wasn't the only one. John felt awkward about her babysitting Rosie. Lestrade didn't know how to talk to her. Mrs Hudson couldn't decide if preparing meals for her was comfort or insult. Molly didn't help them by acting in a predictable way. If she was mourning, it was in silence. She neither blamed Sherlock or sought his company. She knew, for sure, that the odds were against her, the first pregnancy at nearly forty wasn't the best possible scenario. She didn't say what Sherlock was thinking, that his drug addiction and lack of sufficient support raised the risk of miscarriage.

 

She finished autopsy of a fifteen-year-old. Sherlock approached her hesitantly. He had a bad feeling he was making it worse, no matter what he tried. He wanted to suggest a weekend getaway. Molly gave him a quick look. Almost as if she knew he had that first pregnancy test in the pocket of his coat.

'Suicide. No signs of foul play.' 

Talking about what they had been through would only make it worse. Much safer to ignore it completely.

'I knew it. Lestrade was sure it was murder disguised as suicide.'


End file.
